How do I console a friend who has recently filed for a ‘fasakh’ divorce because her husband is a total ignorant?
My friend L is a Chinese Muslim, and have long embraced Islam before she met the hubby S, a Kelantanese Malay but oblivious to his duties as a husband. They got married in 2002, and were blessed with a daughter coming to 4 years old.
During the early years of marriage, it seems that hubby S had problems retaining his job. He was unemployed for some time, and living off L’s earnings day by day. He didn’t even make an effort to find a job immediately, and was practically forced by L to go and look for opportunities out there. L had even prepared and polished his resume and searched for openings for S, and S keeps delaying things. Then L got pregnant, and decided to purchase an apartment, entirely from her own pocket.
Later, L secured a comfortable position in an MNC, and S finally landed a job. Since it was a hassle for them to go to work in L’s car, L bought a car for S by putting down the deposit and S promise to maintain the loan. Somehow along the way, S didn’t do well at work and was again living off L’s earnings. It seems that L is paying for everything, and even when they moved into the new place, not even a light-bulb was contributed by S.
The problems seem to be building up since the days S lost his job, and not even trying to look for a new one. It was always L who had to remind him again and again. Even with a child, S was not even trying to prove his fatherhood by providing for his child in terms of shelter and food. He only babysits the daughter when L had to be away. And even when he’s unemployed, L still sends the daughter to the nursery.
So after a few rows and reconciliations, L finally decided to file for a ‘fasakh’ on the grounds that S was not providing anything to the family. So their case was put to trial, and after a few rounds of humiliation in court where her sex-life was also discussed, the court is now due to give the verdict. By the way, S had his lawyer friend defending him, and it was a tough trial. His defense was that he wasn’t aware that his wife was unhappy, and had the nerve of saying that L was too proud of an independent woman to take anything from the husband. L had evidence as thick as a few Qurans, and S had nothing. But somehow, he managed to sort of assure the judge that he has been paying for food and stuff with cash. So there’s no specific evidence, but it was rather convincing. He is not ready to give the ‘talaq’ and that there’s no ground for ‘fasakh’.
It was so terrible that L had to force him out of the apartment, so ugly he didn’t want to move out that L had to file a police-report for harassment and made him move-out.
The court is due for the verdict, but knowing some of the public service in Malaysia, we can never tell when exactly it is coming out. L has spent so much for the trial and it’s unbelievable that for every court presiding, she had to fork out money.
What I’m more concerned is that how the entire affair is affecting her as a Muslim. I’m more embarrassed as a fellow Muslim of what her husband has done to her. But I’m glad she is strong and keeps strongly to her prayers & do’a. All I can say and do’a is for justice to be executed properly.
Seronoknya Amir. Last time we went he was just 3, tak ingat.
Abang punya tersangat le meriah!
Amir main taram je, but he finished it!
