Stalker

I have been receiving smses from this on unknown number since yesterday, saying good morning sweetie and loads of other stuff. I smsed back asking who the person was and the response was "just wanna say hi".

By lunch, I got another sms asking if I have had my lunch. Thinking that I might as well settle it, I called the number. Ringing but was not picked up.

So I was left wondering for the rest of the day. Not that I wonder too much as I was busy ferrying myself from one meeting to another. From Islamic Museum, to Glenmarie to Hicom Industrial Park.

When Papa called in the evening from Penang, I couldn't help but ask if he's got himself a new number. He said no. And I told him about the smses that I received. He said probably a wrong number, which I replied how could it be as I did ask who that person was.

Probably he was right after all as later that night I didn't receive any more sms.

When the phone beeped again this morning I'm already concluding that someone is trying to mess up with me. It was a good morning sms.

Later the messages are becoming more intimidating. By late morning it sounded like the person knows where I work and what car I drive.

I'm starting to feel uneasy as Papa always told me to be careful and alert when I'm outside. Being a banker's wife also has its own adversaries.

But deep inside I know something is fishy.

Later I got an email from Papa. He just got a new Blackberry...

Turns out all the smses were from his new number, and my hunch was correct.

Tak pasal-pasal Mama takut sekejap.


p/s: Pix - Burung Tiong at the Bird Park's restaurant where I had lunch yesterday, trying to pick on my food.

The longest 45-minutes in my life..

Why was that?

There was a conference recently, and my COO was supposed to be a speaker as my CEO was out of the country. My COO refused to speak to my marcomm manager since his name was listed as a speaker. My marcomm manager went gu-gu-ga-ga, and decided to put my name then, 3 days before the event.

My schedule was so hectic last week that I didn't have time to prepare. And since it was more like a panellist session, I didn't really need to prepare slides. But then the moderator said he will send my questions prior to the session...and yes he did, but not the questions, but only the subject that he's going to ask questions on.

And to top it all, one of the panellists chickened out. He was actually out there, but insisted that that was supposed to be his boss' session. Hey, his name was already on the program book! Why should he chickened out? Unlike me, my name wasn't even there, and to make matters worst, the MC announced me as an Encik.. (yeah..like this never happen before..)

So there were just two of us left, which meant more questions to be asked.

When I looked at the crowd, my heart just stopped, and my whole body felt numb. I felt my blood rushed up to my face and spine. Suddenly the surrounding became so warm when infact just before that Mama was like tergigil-gidil kesejukan. Mama ni kan anti-social sikit - quite reclusive kan.. mana la biasa public appearance macam ni. I'm ok with a small group of customers, and doing presentation everyday is nothing. But..this involved so many people, press, research companies etc.. I felt like going back to my mother's womb.

So when the moderator asked me questions, I frozed first, and then just answered a short one, I think. Though my colleague did say I answered with full confidence etc etc.. I still think I didn't give it my best when I ran through the scenes again and again. I could have elaborated on my subjects further.

But then again, it was already over... no need to have sleepless nights about it. Though deep down inside I feel like I could have done better. Maybe next year I would want to give it another shot.. I want to overcome my fear and eventually get rid of it. Maybe..

Apa nak buat dengan budak sorang ni?

Cuba perhati betul-betul. What is wrong with the picture?

Lain kali boleh tak sesape yang berkenaan simpan shaver dia elok-elok? Sebab anak-anak sedara dia semua naughty-naughty.

Dah perhatikan gambar tu?

Ya betul, kening abang dah tinggal separuh.

Apa nak jadi?

Kunun-kunun nak cukur janggut.

Tapi the only facial hair he got are the eyebrows.

So inilah akibatnya.

Sekian terima kasih.

Of Kekasih, Passion & Interests

On the subject of Kekasih, my latest pursuit of happiness about this subject comes in the form a horror serial on TV3. Normally, I only watch interesting Malay movies & series, and my opinion is that the filmmakers and screenwriters in Malaysia are getting better now. Kekasih Ku Seru comes with an interesting plot and cinematography, and for the past 3 months Mama has always been looking forward to Thursdays. It’s just that this serial always have some new upturn in the story line that makes me wanting to find out more. The best part is my princess Aina will always remind me every Wednesdays to make sure I come back early on Thursdays. And on Thursday afternoons, she will call me to remind me again.

Somehow my boys become so penakut lately. Everytime we watch it, Adam & Amir will be under their pillows, and Amir insists not to sit nearest to the window. He he..I guess he doesn’t want to see glimpses of Waris there.

Actually, Mama pun penakut with all these horror flicks, but since the actors are all familiar faces in the local movie scenes, Mama pun dah tak seram lagi. In fact, the first few series really made me jumped off my seats and woke Aisha up because of my terperanjatness. The horror scenes are almost equal of those Korean horror stuff.

On a serious note about it, it provides subliminal messages about the culture we Malay folks tend to inherit. The stereotypes, the black magic (Saka) that some people may not understand and how it is forced on to the descendants. While watching it, do remind your kids about the background of black magic and how we shouldn’t be influenced about it. Do watch it, and this week will be the series finale. You can catch the back episodes on TV3 website. Hmm, TV3 should gimme credit for promoting this.

MY REAL KEKASIH

Moving on…my real Kekasih actually surprised me with a gift last week, as I just got my birthday present in August. You see, my Kekasih is hardly around with me and kids. He’s always working, and working, and seeing clients, and entertaining…hopefully jangan salah entertain la. The average time he’ll be home on a weekday would be at 11pm. I do envy some people who always have their husbands around, cooking together or just be home having dinner like the ideal family. So, when he comes back early, it would be a nice surprise.

Really, I have to make appointments to see him during workdays and even weekends activities have to be booked. So, we always try to make it up by having breakfast or lunch anytime our schedule can accommodate. It’s kinda fun too, because we are like “curi-curi” jumpa. I guess the gift was to make up for all the time he’s not around, and for the times that I feel like I’m the only parent for the 4As.

Guess which one of those 3 at the bottom was the gift last week?

MY INTEREST

I’m on to a new project (that I like doing). Now looking for ideas and concepts for my cousin’s wedding in December. My other interest is to gubah hantaran and floral arrangements. And since my youngest Acik & Achu are not showing any sign of settling down yet, I look forward to any opportunity to help decorate the wedding hantaran.

In fact, I’m onto decorating the girls’ room also. So many things planned in my head, yet very little time I have. Been wanting to go to SSF to get new flowers as well as I want to re-do my living hall’s floral arrangement. Which reminds me of the time we had our flower shop. I have been out of touch doing the floral arrangement which I used to do with my partner at the shop and it’s always fun having to arrange all the big orders for all the datins in Shah Alam. Let’s see what I want to do this time. Should I stick to the old English or classic theme, or get more vibrant colors for my all brown & earthy-toned hall?

We used to give themes to our promotioal events, like this round was 'Simply Magical'. I'm thinking of having some of these concepts in my new arrangements.

And we also named our arrangements, so that it will inject some buying psychology. Like this one above was Summer in Cambridge


This one was Sunshine Dream

I forgot the name to this one as this was an order from one datin.

Forgot this one too.

Pink & Roses

Summer in Cambridge II

Montana Summer

Romance & Passion

I miss those days, when it was tiring but fun selling all those arrangements & pots & hampers. I think when I have the right partner who is as talented as my previous one, I think I want to do it again..

Simply Inconsiderate

Today Mama hot betul, bukan apa, when I reached my office parking this afternoon, my favorite spot was occupied. But I'm not upset about that.

Basically I'm a sucker for parking spots that are near the elevator areas. So as usual I went around looking for the nearest spot. And how unfortunate today it was kinda full. So had to look for the next best spot. Yes, there was one particular spot I was aiming while going around, but HECK!! I got really upset because next to it was this particular flashy brand new Honda Accord that actually occupied almost a quarter of the empty lot. Tell me siapa yang tak hot? Nama je bawak kereta besar-besar, sepatutnya educated la kan, tapi tak respect orang langsung.

So I ended up in another parking spot at the below level. And disebabkan keberangan Mama pada orang yang sungguh la selfish, Mama sanggup jalan ke spot tu and left a big note with the message "PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE BY NOT OCCUPYING 2 PARKING SPOTS, THANK YOU". And do notice Mama masih berbudi bahasa menulis nota itu. Kalau ikut hati, memang nak sumpah seranah, tapi sebab Mama tak mau anak-anak Mama jadi macam tu, maka buatlah apa yang sepatutnya sebagai seorang yang berbudi bahasa.

I owe Amir this post

Sept 24, 2008 - bulan puasa. Mom was still maidless masa tu. Sorry Amir, tak sempat nak buat posting for your 5th birthday. Anyway, as usual, we don't have big celebration, enough to mark that you are a big boy now.

Lucky I found this little cake, 350gm, siapa la nak habiskan bulan-bulan posa ni..

My 5-year old Amir, ya Allah, please let Amir be a good boy, listen to Mom & Dad, jadi anak yag soleh, tak gado2 with kak Aina & Abang, rajin pi school, rajin buat homework...

Siapa la yang main dengan phone Mama ni, adjusted the white balance setting?

Some people are happy dapat celebrate birthday walau kecil-kecilan.

Ini Amir tengah inquire dengan Mama what is pahala & dosa. Tangan kanan pahala berat...

Rumble & Mumble

Whilst others are busy celebrating raya, I was busy managing the new maid's arrival. As always, Mama being the ever independent mom of four, had to round up everybody (except Abang who decided to follow Acik) on Saturday before Raya to wait for the maid at Jeti Pulau Ketam. And as usual, Papa was always working, this time in Seremban. The maid was scheduled to arrive at 3:30pm, so by that time, we were already there.

And Mama, who hardly waited at the jetty for maids coming in at peak time of the balik-raya madness - never anticipated the crowd. So with baby Aisha, Amir & Aina, Mama had to do 'muka-kesian' at the police-officers and RELA guards the entrance. So they showed me a parking spot just beside them.

When we got off the car, the guards warned me that any ferry coming in will be held at the jetty, and they can only come in once the crowd leaving for Indonesia is cleared by the immigration. So after a few checks and waits at the ferry operator, somebody finally told me that they could actually clear the maid for me if I leave the a copy of the immagration letter for a RM20 fee - that after 2 hours waiting uncomfortably with my 3 kids!

So I was asked to come after buka puasa... and so in between the rush to cook for buka puasa and settling the baby, we did, this time leaving Aisha with Acik while waiting for Papa to come back from Seremban as Acik had to go pick Achu up.

When we got there, the maid was already waiting. I could imagine the exhaustion she had from travelling and waiting since morning. But upon the introduction formalities and such, she popped me the big question - "Anak ibu ada berapa ya?" I was surpised as I already introduced the 3 who followed me. Apparently she said that she didn't ask to to take care of small kids, and if any, only 2 expected!

Adoi! Pusing kepalaku! Quickly I texted Papa that we have to psych her up upon reaching home. Later, we found out that we were also "conned" by the Indonesian agent. We asked for a single lady no kids, we got a janda with 3 kids. And she wanted to take care of only 2 big kids. Reason being she does not want to be reminded of her kids who are now with the gambling ex-husband.

So both expectations were not met. We start to worry already and we realized we need to keep reinforcing the idea that she needs to start fresh and forget the past. But deep inside, I have major doubts, not to mention her hardly smiling face and reactive mode of working. For the first few days, she didn't even try to make friends with the kids, especially Aisha. How can I expect to leave Aisha with her? Even with the laundry, I already told her how to separate the colors, and everyday she'll keep coming back to me with which cloth goes where.

Last Monday, I found her still sleeping at 6:45am when we were busy upstairs gettingready for school. Anyway, I'm still giving her the benefit of the doubts, until yesterday. I asked Aina to send to her room some school uniforms to be ironed, and what did Aina get? "Kakak penat, kakak nak rehat."

That was yesterday when I was still on leave. I took care of Aisha's bathing and stuff. I cooked lunch while she prepared the ingredients. Not so much of work and she did that. I started missing my previous maid, and in fact, Papa did suggest to try calling her back. And I did last night, and was pleasantly surprise that she wants to come back now that her father has recovered from whatever sickness he had. She needs to seek her sister's blessing first and will get back to me soon.

This morning, while I was rushing to go to work after prepping Aisha, I called her to take Aisha while I was getting into the car. Guess what the response was? "Tunggu bu, habiskan jemur kain." Never before my maids did that to me and I was in a hurry some more.

That's it! I want my previous maid back! This current one has too much too ask but too little to give.

Anxiety in the Air

My sister went and check with the tailor last nite - our baju raya are not even cut yet!!!!

Now I'm in no mood for raya, infact have been in no mood since I was maidless.

But, hey, tomorrow is the Day - the new maid is coming via Port Klang. Now I'm getting nervous. Would she be a good helper? Would she treat my kids right? Would she know how to take care of them? Would she be hygienic? Would she.....??

It's the same old feeling again, every time we're taking in a new person. Only tawakal and lots of do'a that I could do.

Let's see how tomorrow turns out, insya'allah if there's tomorrow.

Coloring Contest Again

My kids are just hooked to coloring. I wish they are like that when it comes to books. Having said that, whenever we went to any contest, we will not go home empty-handed.

Yesterday, Abang & Aina participated in a batik coloring contest, again at the local mall. This time around Papa's bank co-sponsored the gifts. What do you know, Aina came in second in her category. So she got a savings certificate of RM70, RM80 of Kedai Nasi Ayam vouchers and a piece of batik cloth (for Mama la). Not bad for a 2-hour job.

However, Abang was disappointed for not getting anything. He tried his very best not to smear his work (I told him to be careful of the mess), so he was one of the few that submitted last. He was so proud of his piece that he thought he could win something. In fact, the MC missed announcing his name for the consolation prizes (everybody got one..), which made him even more upset.

Lucky Papa's staff knew the MC - so they asked for the missed gifts. Lucky for Abang and Amir, both got a RM10 voucher of Kedai Nasi Ayam.

This time around Mama couldn't capture their masterpieces. Aisha was sleeping on my shoulders, and Papa was busy handing out the prizes.

The only picture I got was when the Upin & Ipin mascots came out, and all the kids got excited. Not bad for a local animation company - the series seems to be capturing many hearts.

Abang was so excited, trying to figure out who are inside the mascots.

Happy Bunch

As expected, with the absence of a domestic helper, Mama couldn't get to bring the bunch anywhere last school holiday. Lucky Mak was around, so Mama took instant leave last Friday and brought everybody to Times Square. Where else could I bring them this rainy season kan?

Seronoknya Amir. Last time we went he was just 3, tak ingat.

So the 3 elder ones had fun with the rides at Cosmo's World, though they have rode 'em before, but as long as we went somewhere, it'd be still meaningful. Kalau nak tunggu Papa, forever we won't get anywhere. Rumah Opah pun lama kita tak balik.

Nasib baik Papa also enrolled them for a coloring contest last Sunday. At least ada some activity. But I tell you, the competition is fierce, as usual. Other kids siap bawak pedestal masing-masing for coloring, siap dengan kain buruk etc. My kids, empty handed coz the coloring materials will be provided by the sponsor, the stationery maker yang bunyinya macam stapler (but my kids sebut 'tespler' he he).

So Aina & Amir got into Category A, 5-9 years old and Abang in Category B, 10-12 years old. And guess what? Despite the saingan sengit, Aina gor no 7 in her category! And Abang got lucky! Dapat lucky draw - a wrist watch and some other stuff from a movie maker/distributor. Since Amir didn't get anything from the sponsor but a sample pack of 1 color pencil (sebatang aje), Mama bought him (and Abang & Aina) crayons. So long as they are happy.

And hasil tangan anak-anak Mama yang tak boleh dibawa pulang:

Abang punya tersangat le meriah!

Pemenang no 7 category A

Amir main taram je, but he finished it!

What Happened?

What happens if you have three mischievious kids not listening to their mom when she's busy cleaning the house?

Hang them out in the sun!!

Let Justice Prevail

How do I console a friend who has recently filed for a ‘fasakh’ divorce because her husband is a total ignorant?

My friend L is a Chinese Muslim, and have long embraced Islam before she met the hubby S, a Kelantanese Malay but oblivious to his duties as a husband. They got married in 2002, and were blessed with a daughter coming to 4 years old.

During the early years of marriage, it seems that hubby S had problems retaining his job. He was unemployed for some time, and living off L’s earnings day by day. He didn’t even make an effort to find a job immediately, and was practically forced by L to go and look for opportunities out there. L had even prepared and polished his resume and searched for openings for S, and S keeps delaying things. Then L got pregnant, and decided to purchase an apartment, entirely from her own pocket.

Later, L secured a comfortable position in an MNC, and S finally landed a job. Since it was a hassle for them to go to work in L’s car, L bought a car for S by putting down the deposit and S promise to maintain the loan. Somehow along the way, S didn’t do well at work and was again living off L’s earnings. It seems that L is paying for everything, and even when they moved into the new place, not even a light-bulb was contributed by S.

The problems seem to be building up since the days S lost his job, and not even trying to look for a new one. It was always L who had to remind him again and again. Even with a child, S was not even trying to prove his fatherhood by providing for his child in terms of shelter and food. He only babysits the daughter when L had to be away. And even when he’s unemployed, L still sends the daughter to the nursery.

So after a few rows and reconciliations, L finally decided to file for a ‘fasakh’ on the grounds that S was not providing anything to the family. So their case was put to trial, and after a few rounds of humiliation in court where her sex-life was also discussed, the court is now due to give the verdict. By the way, S had his lawyer friend defending him, and it was a tough trial. His defense was that he wasn’t aware that his wife was unhappy, and had the nerve of saying that L was too proud of an independent woman to take anything from the husband. L had evidence as thick as a few Qurans, and S had nothing. But somehow, he managed to sort of assure the judge that he has been paying for food and stuff with cash. So there’s no specific evidence, but it was rather convincing. He is not ready to give the ‘talaq’ and that there’s no ground for ‘fasakh’.

It was so terrible that L had to force him out of the apartment, so ugly he didn’t want to move out that L had to file a police-report for harassment and made him move-out.

The court is due for the verdict, but knowing some of the public service in Malaysia, we can never tell when exactly it is coming out. L has spent so much for the trial and it’s unbelievable that for every court presiding, she had to fork out money.

What I’m more concerned is that how the entire affair is affecting her as a Muslim. I’m more embarrassed as a fellow Muslim of what her husband has done to her. But I’m glad she is strong and keeps strongly to her prayers & do’a. All I can say and do’a is for justice to be executed properly.

High on Glue

The office is being renovated, actually since early July. I have been avoiding it for the past 2 weeks, but today somehow I have to see someone there.

Now I'm walking on air. My head is spinning and my eyes are drowsy. Not to mention the medication I'm taking for the ultra-big ulcer on my tongue. Can you believe how bad it is that the doctor gave me 2 days of medical leave? I wasn't eating properly for the past few days, and my head was throbbing just like the hammering of the front reception desk as I speak. Worst, that I have to manage the house-chores still...

So in my diziness, I just realized that I have not posted Aina's birthday picture. I wanted to write a about it, but it's like 2 months ago.

What the heck, here goes the pix.

the cake for the 7-year old

she thought we're not gonna have any celebration at all..was almost upset

the neighborhood friends, Senja & Bayu

her long-awaited gift

Oh I must go home now, the glue is making me too drowsy...

MDS

MDS- Maid Dependency Syndrome.

If there were such a condition, I'd be the first to be diagnosed with it.

I cannot run my house-hold without a maid. The dust and all sorts of debris are accumulating as I speak. There is a big pile of unfolded clean laundry in the backroom, not to mention another pile that needs ironing. Actually I can make do with that by sending some to the laundry-mat. For RM1.20 a piece, they'll do a great job making my husband's shirt all pressed up nicely.

There is also a big bag full of unsorted stuff from Alor Setar that Papa brought back over the weekend, stuff that he got from Pekan Rabu, which my kids adore like emping, putu beras, kuih bangkit, serunding and salted fish. Those are stocks for Ramadhan.

The kitchen floor has not been mopped properly for the past 5 days. I only sweep the floor at about 11:30pm every night after I'm done cleaning the dishes (which are still not placed at their proper racks) and after tucking away the dirty laundry in the washing machine, leaving it for the night so it'll be ready for hanging in the morning.

I only manage the necessary stuff, like food, Aisha, dishes, Aisha's bottles, dirty laundry, basic sweeping and school uniforms ironing. Papa manages the pets, garbage, sending kids to school and groceries. Last night, Amir was practically screaming to do his homework with me. He waited and waited till I'm done with the kitchen and laundry. I succumbed to his demands by asking him to do his homework in front of me while I was ironing the school uniforms. There is a big lump in my throat, and my heart practically sunk at my inability to provide for my children properly at this time.

All these while, all the house chores are being done by the maid. So I don't have problems meeting the kids' demands and whims. Now, I have to juggle work and chores. I have so much on my mind that sometimes I did ridiculous things like placing Aisha's bottles in the fridge and putting Aisha's formula in Amir's bottle instead. The hands and the mind are not synchronized sometimes, to the extend that the other day I took the normal route to office when I was supposed to go to a client site. I guess this would be the major signs of MDS.

And what am I doing rambling away like this?

Hyperventilating

My current maid is booked to go home this Thursday, and I heard all sort of problems with my selected replacement maid. I need a paper bag...

What happened? You see, Mama & Papa already selected the candidate. A widow with 2 grown-up kids, husband passed away. Never worked in Malaysia before. Based on her "water-face", we think she's sincere and hard-working. Mind you, THAT has always been the guidance for us to select the pass 3 candidates. It's always based on the photo that was given in the personal data info. What other means can you assess the person you hope you could entrust your kids with? Doa and lots of doa...

This is a typical career-woman issue. Replacement maid, run-away maid, horrible maid, stealing maid... you name it. I'm sure many could share with me of their maid-from-hell stories and untrstworthy agents. My neighbor had her fair share of maid troubles, from stealing and bleeding (this is gross actually, I might write on this in another post). So does my cousin, who recently thinks she got conned by the agent. The maid she was waiting for at Port Klang didn't turn up, while the agent said she already boarded the ferry. And the list goes on..

So much of maid issues that everytime working-mothers get together, there will be endless narration of all sorts. I'm sure everyone would like to share their agony and grouses. For me, alhamdulillah I have not encountered any horror stories yet. I decided to set a very low expectation on the maid's scope and quality of work. To me, as long as she could prioritize my kids well being, I'm already thankful.

So, at every contract renewal, both Papa and me are starting to be jittery. We have experienced problems getting the maid in, especially with passports and tickets. This time around, the candidate that we selected had actually lied to the agent. She was supposed to get a new passport, and it turned out that her thumbprint is already in the system. She had worked here before, under a different name. We got so upset, but we can't prolong our disatisfaction as we need to work fast getting a new one. Now we are faced with a pool of candidates that are neither Muslim nor young. Sigh!

I'm chasing the agent like mad today, up till the point that he's not taking my calls anymore. Nevertheless, I sent him multiple smses and e-mails to remind him that I desperately need a new candidate!

Now, where's that paper bag?

Ownership or Politics?

I'm currently monitoring a project that I closed last year in a GLC. It's a human resource project and when we first start, the project owner, one of the senior managers in HR was so full of excitement envisioning the completion of the project and what good it would do to the company.

So, we are almost near to the go-live date of the project, when a new HR director joined the company. Prior to this, there was no director, so I guess the project owner was sort of happy handling his baby. As typical as it is, new boss means new structure. So, this project owner's portfolio has somehow been reduced and re-assigned to other people, not to mention the new group of people this director is bringing in to the company. So our friend somehow just dropped all interest in the project, as is he's washing his hands off the project. Now my team is feeling that we are doing this project "syok sendiri" and they have become demotivated.

Never in our past projects we experienced such lack of ownership from the customer. I just don't understand the mentality of the people in this GLC. There are just too much politics going round, and people seem to be so superficial here. No one dares to be bold enough to stand out and bring changes to this GLC. And we are talking of a GLC that used to be the pride of the nation, coming up with Malaysian made product, roaming the streets in UK, Singapore, Australia, Egypt and many other nations. When the company is reviving now, the employees should realize that they can no longer be in their comfort zone. Things need to move to ensure change. And what my team & I are doing is only partial contribution to enable effective monitoring and strategizing of the human capital in this GLC. What we expect is for the people in this company to work together and make it happen.

It seems that the only person who's really interested is the MD. But he's been shed off a lot if information. So how do we get moving here?

How Much?

Amir sayang his baby sister so much, to the extent that when I asked him can I give away Aisha, he would fiercely say NO!

So I tested him. "Amir, you said you want a baby brother, not baby sister. So Mama can give Aisha to Aci next door ok?

NO! NO! NO! TAK BOLEH!

Kalau Mama jual Aisha, can? How much?

ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND JUTA POINT THIRTEEN FIFTEEN!!

Abang? You want to sell Aisha or not?

NO! Abang sayang Aisha!

This one I have no problem testing his love. From day one, he wanted to hold the sister.

As for Aina, she's too clumsy to hold Aisha and strike a pose...

Susahnya nak pergi kerja..

Bila bangun pagi, celik mata tengok Aisha comel dan mungil tengah bercakap sorang-sorang dia, hati Mama berat je nak siap-siap pergi kerja. Aisha dah pandai communicate with her baby-talk tu la, and it's been fun layan Aisha. Gerrraaaam sangat Mama kat Aisha. Come-lotey..sapa lagi nak cakap Aisha comel, mestila mak dia kan.

Dah pandai borak, pandai gelak.. memang berat lah hati nak tinggal kan dia dengan maid. Ni sebab jealous la coz the maid got spend more time with her...

Ni muka baru bangun, playing with her hands. Mama rasa Aisha tak tahu lagi that tangan tu part of her body.

Aisha suka hisap jari, she can just fall asleep suckling her fists.

And.. Aisha dah boleh turn, tapi tak tahu turn balik semula.

By the way, this Sunday, Aisha will be 4 months old, and kakak Aina will be 7. Nak buat apa ek? Papa pi Singapore, only back late Sunday evening.

Quarrelsome

As usual the kids would have some kind of daily fight, be it the shower, the PSP or whatever reasons to fight for lah..

Today in the shower, since everyone wants to be first... both Aina & Amir decided to shower together. And in the middle of it:

Amir: Mama!!!!! Kakak bagi taik kat Amir!!

Mama ignored them..busy changing Aisha.

Amir: Mama! Tau tak kakak bagi taik kat Amir...huwaaaaaaaaaaa!

Mama: Hah??

Amir: Kakak sapu taik kat Ammmmiiirrrrrrr!

Mama: Kakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkk!!

Aina: Aina sapu taik mata la Mama!

Laaa.....

Delayed Mother's Day Post

As usual, every day in my household is Father's Day, because Papa will always get the attention from Mama - massage, hot nescafe, belek kelemumur and stuff. The only thing different on Mother's Day are the wishes I received from my kids...and there were priceless!

This card is from Aina. She loves drawing and artsy crafty.

Amir picked a flower outside the house. In fact, he loves picking this flower every now and then and gave it to me whenever I come back from work, and that's when he's like an angel. I forgot for a moment about his tantrums and mischiefs.

Adam gave me I big I love u hug, which no picture can describe.

And for my mom, I bought her this electric thermos to replace the old one. I've promised her before, so it's a good time to send her this gift. Of course the kids claimed the gift is from them!

And Papa? Where's the little wish for me?

Aqiqah buat Aisha

Sudah lama mama ingin bercerita tentang hal ini, tetapi masa selalu tidak mengizinkan. Hari ini Mama berasa ingin berbicara dalam bahasa ibunda kerana tiba-tiba saja ingatan melayang kepada guru Bahasa Melayu Mama ketika di sekolah perempuan di Seremban dulu.

Seperti biasa, buat anak-anak Mama & Papa, kami akan mengadakan ibadat Aqiqah ini seboleh-bolehnya sebaik sahaja habis waktu pantang. Selalunya aqiqah dilakukan sekali dengan tradisi berendoi (bukan sunnah). Kali ini, majlis dibuat pada hari ke 58 umur Aisha, juga bersamaan 20 April - hari lahir abang Muaz ke 11, yang keesokannya pula hari lahir abang Adam yang ke 10, yang diraikan bersama dengan hari ulangtahun perkahwinan Atuk & Wan yang ke 40, dan juga ulangtahun perkahwinan Mak & Uncle Jek yang ke …berapa ye, 7?

Sebagai imbasan, berikut adalah pengertian Aqiqah sebelum Mama bercerita lebih panjang. Mama petik huraian ini dari sini.

AQIQAH UNTUK ANAK

Aqiqah, pengertian dari segi bahasa ialah rambut di kepala kanak-kanak. Sementara pengertian aqiqah dari segi syara ialah binatang yang disembelih pada hari mencukur rambut bayi. Aqiqah sebagai ibadah yang telah disyariatkan oleh Allah s.w.t. sebagaimana penjelasan Rasulullah s.a.w. dengan sabdanya yang bermaksud:

"Setiap anak yang lahir itu terpelihara dengan aqiqahnya yang disembelih untuknya pada hari ketujuh (daripada hari kelahirannya), dicukur dan diberi nama." (Riwayat Abu Dawud, al-Turmuzi dan Ibnu Majah)

Ibnu Majah menerangkan maksud "... terpelihara dengan aqiqahnya..." (pada mafhum hadis di atas) adalah bahawa aqiqah itu sebagai sebab yang melepaskan kanak-kanak tersebut daripada gangguan syaitan yang cuba menghilangkan daripadanya melakukan kebaikan.

Menurut Imam Ahmad bin Hambal, bahawa apabila seseorang kanak-kanak itu mati dalam keadaan belum diaqiqahkan lagi, maka anak itu tidak dapat mensyafaatkan kedua-dua orang tuanya diakhirat kelak.

HUKUM AQIQAH

Hukum aqiqah itu adalah sama dengan ibadah qurban iaitu Sunnat Muakkad kecuali dinazarkan menjadi wajib. Penyembelihan aqiqah ialah pada hari ketujuh dari kelahiran bayi atau pada hari ke empat belas atau ke dua puluh satu. Jika tidak dapat maka bila-bila masa selagi anak itu belum baligh.

Jika anak telah baligh, maka gugur tuntutan atas walinya dan sunnat bagi dirinya (individu yang berkenaan) mengaqiqahkan untuk dirinya sendiri. Hal ini berdasarkan hadis dari Ahmad, Abu Dawud dan al-Tabrani, bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. pernah mengaqiqahkan dirinya sendiri sesudah Baginda s.a.w. diangkat menjadi Rasul.

Anak lelaki disembelihkan dua ekor kambing (tetapi sah sekiranya seekor) dan perempuan memadai dengan seekor kambing. Diriwayatkan daripada Aisyah, bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. memerintahkan para sahabat agar menyembelih aqiqah untuk anak lelaki dua ekor kambing yang umurnya sama dan untuk anak perempuan seekor kambing. (Riwayat al-Turmuzi).

Daripada Ibnu Abbas r.a. pula menyatakan. bahawa Rasullullah s.a.w. menyembelih aqiqah untuk Hasan dan Husin masing-masing dengan seekor kambing. (Riwayat Abu Dawud)

Jadi, sebagai amalan biasa di kampong, maka kami korbankan seekor biri-biri buat Aisha kali ini. Dulu ketika abang Adam, kami korbankan 2 ekor kambing, seekor buat kak Aina manakala buat abang Amir, 2/7 bahagian lembu ketika berkongsi majlis aqiqah cucu-cucu Wan Andak.

Biri-biri disembelih petang sebelum majlis berendoi. Wan beriya-iya hendak memasak rendang, jadi Mama & Papa ikutkan sahaja. Disebabkan Wan& Atuk sudah lama tidak berkenduri, maka Mama & Papa turut sahaja rancangan mereka, terutama Wan. Rendang dimasak petang itu juga, dan pada waktu malam, jiran-jiran Wan datang ke rumah menolong menyediakan rencah-rencah untuk memasak pada pada keesokan harinya. Mama dan adik-beradik ipar-duai Mama juga sibuk di dapur.

Suasana gotong-royong masih diamalkan di kampong kita, ini suatu amalan yang patut dikekalkan oleh generasi baru. Namun, disebabkan arus hidup yang membuatkan anak-anak Wan berpindah dan berumah-tangga di kota, kami jarang-jarang dapat melaksanakan amalan ini. Kadang-kala Wan ada meluahkan kerisauannya tentang apabila Wan dan kawan-kawannya meningkat usia nanti, siapakah pula yang akan meneruskan tradisi ini.


Berbalik kepada majlis Aisha ini, kali ini Mama teringin membuat buai yang comel buat Aisha, jadi Mama sediakan buai yang dipinjamkan Ateh dengan warna ungu dan merah jambu. Buainya agak ringkas kerana Mama kekurangan kain untuk digunakan.

Pagi esok harinya, kumpulan Marhaban kenalan/saudara-mara Wan pun tiba untuk upacara berendoi. Mama pakaikan Aisha gaun warna putih dan merah jambu, dibungai warna ungu. Anggun sekali anak Mama pertama kali naik buaian. Aisha terus lena dibelai alunan suara nenek-nenek dengan lagu-lagu yang mendayu.

Suatu perkara ketika majlis berendoi ini yang selalu mengusik jiwa Mama ialah sebuah lagu atau nazam yang menceritakan tentang betapa perit ibu mengandung dan anak patut sentiasa menghormati ibunya. Setiap kali lagu ini dialunkan, Mama mesti akan menitiskan air mata. Suatu hari nanti, Mama akan letakkan lirik lagu itu di sini insya’Allah. Tetapi seingat mama, antara lirik awalnya ialah:

Ayuhai anak di dalam buaian

Pejamkan mata jangan tangiskan

Lagu Berendoi kami dendangkan

Di dalam majlis tanda kesyukuran

Lamalah sudah kami menanti

Namun engkau tak kunjung tiba

Dengan takdir ilahi rabbi

Kini engkau sudah menjelma

Selepas berendoi, upacara cukur jambul pula dilakukan, dimulai dengan Wan yang memotong sedikit rambut Aisha (yang tidak banyak itu), kemudian oleh Papa dan kaum-kaum ibu dan nenek yang hadir di situ, diringi dengan selawat keatas Nabi junjungan. Namun Aisha tidak sempat dicukurkan hari itu kerana masa tidak mengizinkan (Aisha akhirnya dicukur oleh Mama & Papa sendiri di Shah Alam pada 1 Mei :-)).

Selesai upacara berendoi dan cukur jambul, Abang Muaz & Abang Adam diraikan pula dengan acara memotong kek. Kanak-kanak yang hadir dihadiahkan sedikit ole-ole yang terdiri dari pensil, mainan kecil dan makanan ringan. Hanya selepas acara itu, barulah tetamu semua diraikan dengan hidangan makanan tengahari berlaukkan rendang biri-biri serta gulai masam ikan sungai dan sebagainya.

Alhamdulillah, semua anak-anak Mama telah diaqiqahkan. Tidak perlu bimbang lagi di kemudian hari…

Calibre?

Mama was attending WCIT 2008 at KLCC Convention Centre for the past two days. Mak ooii, penat kaki duk jalan ke sana ke mari, attending B2B sessions with prospects from Middle East, Europe and India and also attending the plenary talks. I missed the first two days of the congress, so didn't manage to catchup the sessions with PM & Bill Gates.

Yesterday, the closing was done by the DPM. So alang-alang tu I sat in lah for his speech. Cheee..mula-mula tu macam gempak la title, lagi pun I never attended any function yang pernah ada DPM. I'm quite impressed with his English and accent. Tapi lama-lama duk dengar, nothing new in the subject that he was talking about. Everybody knows that ICT helps expedite businesses. So? I was looking for something with more ummph in his speech, baru ada calibre sikitkan? But then it was dry. This is a world congress, so I think who ever prepared the speech have to consider the kind of audience there. Ini macam, malu lah, pemimpin negara punya speech sangat la boring....

p/s: Mama kena interview dengan RTM, tapi tak tau untuk rancangan apa (lupa nak tanya pasal tekedu kejap depa stop Mama when I was rushing for a meeting). Interview was in English though.

Al Fatihah

14th May 2008 was the day I lost one of my friends that I grew up with in school. There were 138 of us, and now our numbers are reduced with the passing of Maria Razak.

I was in a middle of a client meeting when my mobile beeped a text message. I couldn't believe my eyes when the message mentioned of her passing. How could my friend, in her prime age, with 3 kids be gone? But then it got me thinking, Allah could just take away anyone, be it a baby, a teenager, a mother, or even a grandmother. I just lost an uncle just a week prior to this, so another loss is unbearable to this poor and weak soul.

I was trying very much to remain compose in the meeting, but my mind is elsewhere, trying to figure out what was the reason Maria left us so early. I thought it was only a few months ago that we were at the bowling tournament. Then I realized that was before I found out that I was pregnant, so it must have been a year that I last saw arwah.

Later I found out from friends who attended the funeral that arwah Maria had some blood clot in her ateries. That is the silent killer that must have been the cause for Papa's friend who also collapsed and passed away while giving a presentation to his Arab clients in Dubai last year. We have lost a few friends unexpectedly, and I guess the rushing and stressful lifestyle has been the main reason for such early deaths.

When I relayed the news to Papa that night, his reaction was "that was why I'm trying to clear every mortgage and debt I have as fast as possible so that if anything happened to me, you are not burdened..." Oh I just can't hear him talking that way, my tears start streaming down my face... I can't imagine losing my life partner, the father of my children so soon, just when you're about to nuture and shape your young family. My heart goes out to Hazmi and arwah's kids. It's a tormenting loss.

Al Fatihah to my dear Maria, whom in my thoughts I saw a petite young woman running the fields of our TKC ground, holding her hockey stick in the green uniform. I heard her husky voice cheering her other team mates. I also saw her marching in her blue-grey cadet uniform by the side of our main hall. I still remember her complaining not having enough practice when we bowled at the TKC "La-Tua-de-Alley" tournament when all she did was strike most of the time. From now on, there won't be any new image of her, and I have to savor all these memories intact in my mind.

Semoga rohmu dilimpahi rahmat Allah sentiasa...



More thoughts by Ms Hart and Dill.

Holiday in the Land of the Pharoahs - Part 1

I'm already at work now, infact I was already doing work 3 weeks before my maternity leave ends. Which explains how hectic my life once I reported back to work. But the best part was having a free holiday in Egypt during the last week of my leave - I earned an incentive trip via selling hardware for a business partner through oe of my deals last year.

So there were 16 of us, all from various companies, but we clicked along well. We spent 3 days in Cairo & Alexandria and 2 days flying. The trip was loooooooooooooooooong - 12 hours with a one-hour stop in Mumbai.

Actually, upon boarding the plane (we took Egypt Air as that's the only carrier with a short stopover) dah start culture shock of the Egyptians. Semua stewards dah nak botak and boncit, and the stewardesses masam mencuka and rough. Tolak food trolley langgar segala mende kat tepi. Memang tak ada hospitality langsung. Mama naik flight tu tengah malam, so naik-naik aje terus membuta la. Tapi after a few hours of sleep, we were woken up for breakfast. So like stone aje.

One more challenging part is to express myself. I am still lactating, so by the time sampai Mumbai dah memang kena express. Tapi tunggu the crew kemas the planes, baru masuk toilet. Mama dah tak boleh tahan dah...so kena masuk jugak. Baru nak start pumping, kena ketuk. The stewardess wanted to refill the tissues. I said go and do it at other toilet lah, she said "I need to do my job now, please go to other toilet". Mama mulalah start upset, tak respect langsung kat passenger. Memang patutla Malaysia Airlines dapat Best Airline of the year. I think the airline crews kat US better than them.

Then bila sampai Cairo airport, it's time to express again. So off I went to look for the ladies while waiting for the lugagge. Happy tengok ada ladies, tapi tengok-tengok ada sebijik aje toiletnya. Can you imagine the long line, with the people just boarded off the plane, of course semua orang nak cari decent toilet. Ada ke sebijik aje depa buat kat situ? Then one of the ground staff kata outside ada toilet lagi... Hello!

Cari Benda Tersembunyi

Dulu masa kecik-kecik baca paper selalu ada ruangan cari benda tersembunyi.

Carilah di sini...

Teringat Semasa Pantang

Masa pantang, badan can be either slim or gemok, depending how you take care of your diet, and how strict is your care-giver. In my case, I'm my own care-giver, minus the first week when my mother was around. After that, it's all instruction-based care (translate: maid did all the work).


Anyway, I tried as much to follow a good diet, but not forgetting the nutritions that I needed. So the recipes would be all soupy stuff or grilled. Somehow, this time I was always hungry. Perhaps it was the weather - been raining almost everyday. So I needed extra snacks, and what else could be eaten without raising my mother's curiousity? Jacob's Cream Crackers cicah Milo! Everytime I ordered this, there would always be side orders as the kids like to join me. Berebut cicah biskut dalam Milo. So, kena la order personal Milo for everybody.

Paling best - makan biskut cicah Milo bila hari hujan lebat... biskut jadi terlebih sedap somehow. Yum, yum..

Black, White or English?

Somehow Aisha looks fairer than the rest. Acik always like to tease Amir expecially on the skin contrast.

Acik: Amir, Aisha white kan?

Amir: Ha ah...Aisha white

Acik: Amir? Amir black?

Amir: NOOOO!! Amir English laaaah!

Aisha Sofea

Welcome to the world my little baby girl Aisha Sofea!

Today is the 45th day, which means the "pantang" is over! Yeaa! Aisha was born on Feb 22 at 9:36am, via C-Section, weighing 3.25kg. And how very lucky was she, our hospital room was upgraded to a single suite, and my gynae didn't charge for her service.

Amir was at first a bit upset as he was expecting a little boy, but later he enjoyed opening all the presents that Aisha got. Words like "Amir nak smackdown baby" soon disappeared. I'm hoping he'll stand the "geram" for the little one.

Aina & Abang on the other hand are very happy and helpful. The big sister is especially attentive the baby's needs, and is always assisting Mama with the cleaning and bathing. Which is why all the more reason I'm happy to get another girl. Alhamdulillah!

So with this number 4, I was advised to stop bearing children altogether. Reason being that I already had 3 C-Sections, and that age is also a factor. So after this, the children that I'll be getting are gonna be my cucu lah!

By the way, the picture above is 5-day old Aisha.

Amir & School

Masa mula-mula Amir pi school, macam-macam challenges Mama kena tolerate.

First 3 weeks pi school, Mama kena teman Amir naik sampai classroom. Before that, nak kejut bangun pagi pun susah, celik-celik mata aje terus nangis. Amir tak nak pi dengan Papa, Amir nak Mama hantar je. Papa tak best. Ok... janji masuk bilik air and mandi.

Lepas mandi, Mama kena call Abang Mat the van driver. Amir takut Abang Mat lupa pick up Amir. So Mama kena lah berlakon call Abang Mat tu, make sure dia ingat nak pickup Amir and jangan lambat-lambat. Then Amir tegur pulak pasal apa tak dengar suara Abang Mat? Mama kata Abang Mat cakap slow-slow. Suspicious aje budak ni. Mama jangan call tipu-tipu.

Then after that it's another challenge - make Amir have breakfast. Since he starts schooling, having breakfast is something that he really drags doing. Then komplen pasal Amir tak suka makan kat school sebab tak sedap. So Mama kena cakap that kalau tak nak makan kat school, Amir has to eat at home. Otherwise, nanti Mama don't want to tell teacher.

So hari-hari ada je la komplen dia seperti:

• Amir tak suka teacher Anis, dia gemok!
• Amir tak nak pi school nanti Abang Mat hantar balik lambat!
• Amir tak suka teacher Fiza sebab dia pakai specs!
• Amir tak suka makan macaroni tak sedap!
• Amir tak suka baca Iqra' sebab Amir nak ngaji ngan Mama!

So Mama nak buat macam mana dengan budak yang banyak komplen ni? Sabao aje lah.

Nasib baik lately ni mood dia dah improved, Papa boleh hantarkan. And balik rumah komplen pun dah kurang sikit...still there..but improving.

Contractions Counting

Two more days to go!

My contractions are still irregular, which means that the baby is still comfortable in my tummy. Expected what...the original due date is Feb 29. Based on previous track records, the babies would come out 1 or 2 days earlier. So I guess Feb 22 is still on schedule.

The only thing most discomforting is the difficulties getting into the right position while trying to ge to sleep at night. And that's also the time the contractions start coming. Only at night. Last night I had to toss and turn a trillion time and everytime the contractions kicked in, it had to be accompanied with a trip to to the loo. But by 4:30am in the morning, the contractions subsided. I hope these sleepless nights don't follow through after the baby is delivered. All 3 older kids were pretty much good sleepers - last feeding time would normally be midnight, and the next one would be like 5 or 6am. How wonderful it was for me to have uninterrupted sleep during my confinement.

The C-Section on Friday is scheduled to be at 9:30am. I have to fast like 4 hours before the procedure. And the sad thing is I'm always hungry at 7:30am. Looks like I have to sahur by 4am or at least have a midnight snack. Good luck to Mama!

So, this round I hope it would be another blessing...

Countdown

Finally, my gynae & us decided on the C-Section date - it's gonna be February 22, 2008. Papa & Mama were wishing that we could get February 23, as we would have a nice sequence of birthdates for the kids : Abang - 21, Aina - 22, baby - 23 and Amir -24. Unfortunately the gynae won't be around on the 23rd, so we had to settle for 22nd then. But then we never know, baby might want to come out earlier huh?

Counting down the days is tiring. So let's just go with the flow. My tummy is so big I can't even stand for a long period. I even got sick last week after my meeting in Putrajaya, what with the walking in enormous government office complexes (that serves little purpose except for the breathtaking designs), and walking back to the parking lot under the hot sun. Getting home, I immediately came down with high fever and very low blood pressure and had to be saline-dripped. Geez! So now I'm trying very much to minimize my client visits to nil.

My mode of working is from home now, trying my very best to focus and delegate things. One thing for sure, the new guy we would like to recruit (and back me up temporarily) chickened out the last minute. I was expecting him to be on board early February. I guess his current employer counter-offered him with a better deal. So that makes things a little bit frenzier. I can't really delegate much.

So it's back to my current colleague and the CEO & COO to followup my deals he he..

Dreadful encounter of the lifts kind...

Lately I don't feel like going to my office at all. The lifts are horrendous!! It feels like hours just waiting for the lift from the basement, and with my aching back, I just can't stand it anymore. Actually this has been going on for months, and for every trip down or up the building, you have to do it reversely.

Example, during lunch time - you must press up to avoid the down crowd coming from the upper floors. So you have to bear the trip for another 13 floors up and down with potential stops at each floor. Otherwise, you will end up with a full lift everytime. Sigh!

I shall avoid working in KL as much as I possibly could. Imagine the possiblity of having my contractions in the office, and my gynae is 38km away plus the lift conditions and traffic?

Every single night is a restless night. I'm feeling mild contractions, and sometimes movement that can be equated to touching an electric eel!

On top of that, my boss think I should postpone my delivery! Hark!

Ah Lan Wa Sah Lan 1429H

Ma'assalamah 1428!

Punya lah lama Mama tak update blog - was so busy catching up with things and managing my pregnancy (especialy at nights when I get utterly uncomfortable and breathless with backaches and too much sommersaults in the tummy). The pregancy is already 33 weeks, but according to my oby-gynae, the baby's size is 35 weeks. Betul ke ni? Patut la tak larat and termengah-mengah aje.

I'm due perhaps in one month, and this morning one of my directors are asking if I could postpone my delivery he he.. This year my job will be tougher as we have new investor coming in and scrutinizing our pipelines. Ye lah, nak go listing mestilah kena ada healthy pipeline kan.

On top of it, my current customer from hell still tak moh go live with the project. Entah apa lah yang dia orang nak kita pun tak tau. Requirement asyik bertambah, last-last we end up doing charity work instead. Penat you.

Aina dah masuk primary one, it was a breeze sending her to school. I'm more worried of Adam who's already in primary four tapi perangai macam budak-budak lagi. It's a long time for him to be matured, unlike Aina who can already absorb some responsibilities.

The worst is to handle Amir's fear of separation. He's in pre-school now and everytime he comes back home from school, he swears that he'll never go to school again. And it's still difficult to send him in the morning, so I had to do it instead of his dad.

Back at home, my left-side neighbour just menimang cucu last month. My right-side neighbor just adopted a 6-month old girl, and sebelah that neighbor just delivered a baby girl a few days back. So it's baby-blues along my row of neighbors. Come February, insya'allah we'll have another.