My workload for the past two weeks were enormous, and endless, causing me to be down with fever and sore throat. I was flat on my back during the weekends, trying to recover sleepless nights for the past week. The sad thing is I was not able to coach Adam in preparing for his exams, which starts today.
The guilty feeling of not being able to be there as a good mother and teacher for your kid is just another torture for a working mom like me. Sometimes at work, I'd pause momentarily, with a tingling sensation deep down in my tummy whenever I thought that Adam is not guided with his homework at home. Even though for now I'm quite lucky that my sister is around to assist him, sooner or later, he'll be alone again. With his mom clocking long hours at work, how would he know that he's progressing well with his lessons?
I envy the stay-at-home moms, who could sit down with their children everyday. I envy those who has children with good grades and good behavior. I envy those who do not have to worry about what their maids are doing because they are around to supervise them. I envy, I envy, I envy...
Perhaps, to some average folks, working is a sacrifice for the worldly pursuit of ensuring your finances are maintained to keep your kids in school and have a decent standard of living. And I'm one of those average folks, I have to sacrifice my time with my children to be able to feed, clothe, and put them to school. My darling hubby on the other hand would ensure all the other finances are taken care as well. I just wish that one day my kids would understand that Mama & Papa worked very hard to ensure their future is taken care of, and Mama actually goes to work with a very heavy heart, and a sinking feeling, envying the time her children had to spend without her...
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